Losing weight

Is tough. Gaining it was easy. I know I’ve touched on my weight before but I am giving you guys the details now. I have been watching My 600 lb life and it has brought up a lot of memories.

In January 1997, I weighed 406 pounds.

How I got there was a series of events. Since I was in 7th grade, my mother put me on fad diets. Oprah Winfrey shakes, grapefruit diet, cabbage soup diet, etc. I would lose weight and as soon as I stopped the diet, would gain it all back plus more. I was 250 pounds at 14. I also had genetics towards being overweight. My biological mother was a big woman herself.

In high school, my mom would try to make me diet but I also got an allowance each week. I would take my money and walk to the convenience store down the street and buy candy and whatever I wanted. I would eat it all before I walked back to the house so she would never catch me. When I graduated high school, I was at 300 pounds. I worked, I lived on my own, I drove. I started using drugs thinking I would lose weight plus be high. Well that didn’t work! I just kept getting bigger. So when I took my mom on vacation to North Carolina (we are both big fans of Biltmore House and Gardens) in 1996, I told her I was looking at weight loss surgery. My insurance at my travel job would pay for it too so it was win win.

My senior prom picture and my best friend in high school and I my senior year.

So I got with NuWeigh and saw a shrink and was approved for surgery. I went under the knife in January 1997. I was 23 years old. I still have a scar although it’s not very noticeable. This was WAY before the doctors came up with the gastric bypass and only making 3 small holes in a persons stomach. Mine was called gastroplasty. It is a band with staples underneath. They had to cut me open to do it. The band does not move and I’ve never had a problem with it. They also removed my gallbladder at the same time telling me it was full of stones.

I lost a lot. I have never stretched out my pouch (that’s what they call your stomach after surgery). If I eat too much, I will throw up. If I don’t eat all day, I will get sick after 2 bites. I am still 200 pounds. About 25 of it is excess skin. So I still look fat too. Which I hate. I do not want another surgery cost so I deal with the skin. It’s all over my body. Flabby underarms, between my legs, as well as stomach skin hanging.

I had my son. I gained then. I’ve lost since then. It takes time.

This show gives these people the excess skin surgery. What they don’t tell is – who paid for all that? The hospital wants me to pay $15,000 IF I donate the skin to burn victims and I would be happy to give them all this skin but I can’t pay that much! I can’t even pay $1,000. I would not be able to work or take care of my kid. Therefore would not be able to pay bills either. Not good!

I’m just tired of people looking at me and commenting about how little I eat and if I don’t eat much, why aren’t I thin? I don’t know the answer to this. What am I supposed to do? I am okay with how I look. I came from being a huge person to a mostly normal person. Why are people so cruel?

51 thoughts on “Losing weight

  1. Most people are terrible really.
    When I hear someone saying something about someone else’s looks, I will always throw the “have you ever looked in the mirror” arguement.
    I wish I could say it doesn’t matter what someone thinks of me, but hearing something negative does affect me badly.
    I know about my “imperfections”, no need to rub it in my face. What is even the point of that?!?!?
    From what I saw of the current pictures you posted, you look great and happy.
    I’ve seen many people who are “hot”, bit can’t seem to smile. And where is the beauty in that?!?!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Oh I agree. People can be cruel. I think people is why I started to have anxiety pretty bad and don’t want to go out in crowds anymore.
      For the most part, I am happy. I just have these moments where I just don’t get it.
      Everyone has imperfections. I think you look great! πŸ˜€

      Like

      1. Every thanksgiving i used to hear ” if you just ate meat you’d be fine” because i was a vegetarian. As if a bite of turkey would cure my muscle disease! People are just so inconsiderate. Just leave us alone already

        Liked by 1 person

  2. My Dear, 3 people I have known had the same surgery you did and 2 of them ended up back where they started within a couple of years. My cousin had several surgeries afterward, to repair the damage she did herself by eating too much and stretching the pouch out. She even had the one removing the excess skin and still was obese again when she passed over at 75 yrs. She never recovered from the food and alcohol addiction, which caused her diabetes! One of the others has regained the weight, but now eats healthy food and walks every day. She is so Beautiful through and through! Her HEART is made GOLD (!!) and she has such a wonderful disposition! She is such a pleasure to be around. Her Mother is the other one. She hasn’t regained all of the weight back and I don’t know if she has since had the excess skin removed, but she has replaced the food with Vodka and is not a happy person, nor is it easy to endure being in her presence because of the negative disposition.
    What I’m getting at, is that you seem to have made a remarkable recovery and are to be congratulated for all of your accomplishments!!!! What I would like to do here is show you that picture of yourself. What a Beautiful Soul you are! I cannot take back the hurtful words someone has said, nor the negative self-talk that has become habitual. But I can validate your accomplishment and having done similar work I can tell you that the sacrifices you have made to assist those elders that are failing have made a tremendous difference in their quality of life! It doesn’t matter that its your work and you get paid for it, either! (The Universe allows that. 😊)
    Please look at yourself through the eyes of those you assist and not through the warped vision of any critics for they are truly to be pitied! (How awful it must be to have to make someone else feel down to feel that they are more important!) But, most important of all is to learn to love and appreciate yourself, for then you will know in your HEART that any criticism anyone could offer is untrue! It will flow like water off a duck’s back and never reach your heart.
    I remember one of my favorite Self-Help exercises when I first started out on this path.
    When you first get up and look in the mirror every morning, complement yourself, “Good Morning Julie! I Love You!” “Julie, you are such a wonderful person!.” “Man are you ever gorgeous!” “You’ve come a long way, Baby!” “Congratulations!” “You have an abundance of beautiful qualities!” Etc., Etc. You’re allowed to get as carried away as you want! Say all the things to yourself that you wish others had said over the years. And above all, have fun with it!It will truly change your life!
    Angel Hugs and Sweet Blessings
    From my HEART to your HEART
    In Love,
    Betty

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much. That made me cry. You are so sweet. I watched someone have this surgery and gain his weight back as well. I never understood how that happened because I will throw up even 2 hours later if I eat too much!
      I will try that although I will probably end up laughing while I talk to myself in the mirror. πŸ˜‚
      Again, thank you. I need to print that out, make it huge, and reread it daily! πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  3. What people believe about weight is so stupid. I grew up in a Barbie doll world and to this day I’m told how fat I am by my mum. Diabetes, MS, and children are not conducive to being as thin as I need to be. Stress doesn’t help either. (Kit Kats and Jr Mints are a balm to my soul…not my butt, my soul!)
    It hurts when we hear mean words. It is so hard to ignore those words, phrases, and whatever. There is a book I’m reading now, ‘The Gifts of Imperfections-Let go of who you thin you are supposed to be and embrace who you are.’ Brene Brown. If you haven’t looked at it, do.
    Heart you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Julie, fuck those people. I wonder why people are cruel everyday but who knows the answer? You are a wonderful person–don’t let those people talk shit on you and if they do; don’t let it get to you! You’re perfect the way you are. ❀ You don't need any more of that surgery.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. What a raw honest post. May I suggest a health dose of daily self love and ditching that show. I think you would enjoy Americas Castles on Netflixs (yes it features BiltmoreπŸ˜‰) with a glass of wine.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This was so heart felt! Wow! I really appreciate you sharing your story. It just shows that no one knows. No one really knows how another person got to where they are, why and how they feel the way they do, and how much one comment can trigger thousands of emotions. ” why can’t you work out to get more muscle ?” Yeah I don’tknow. I have a muscle disease and no one knows why the more i do the worse i get. ” you LOOK fine. You LOOK like you’ve lost weight. You LOOK like you’ve gained weight.” Yeah if everyone would just shut up!!!!! I already have issues with loving how I look in this body and the comments are just not needed.
    So I really do hear you. I’m sorry people make comments. I wish they didn’t. I wish they didn’t ask why. It just isn’t important!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow this incredibly inspiring for you to share your story. Screw what others think of you. You are no different than anyone esle. You are human. You have dreams. You have a voice and most importantly you have a purpose. Focus on that and nothing else!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. No problem! Yes I so strongly believe that every day is day one. I am doing my best to let others know that we are all human. We all have feelings and who cares what you look like, where you came from, how you dress etc….it is all about how you feel. And to me there is no better way than feeling like no matter what happened yesterday or what is on tap tommorow. Today is day one!

        Liked by 1 person

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