The soon to be NOT neighbors

This is my official 100th post!

I don’t know ALL of my neighbors but I’ve been here 15 years and there are lots that have been here longer.

Here are my favorite worst ones:

The German Lady:

She can’t keep a secret. She walks around with her dog (3 dogs she’s had since she was young she said, all the same name) and spies on everybody. She can tell you when someone leaves every day, when they come home, when they eat, etc. Nosy!

Her partner in crime:

If German doesn’t see you, this lady will! She sits in her apartment all day smoking and watching out her window. If she’s outside, she’s with German.

Thief:

Yep. We have one! This woman offered to walk people’s dogs while they worked. She would snoop around your house and take whatever she wanted. This one girl was doing laundry when the thief walked in the laundry room. The thief asked how the girls day was going and swiped her credit card right off the washer! It was cancelled within 5 minutes and guess what? 2 days later she saunters into the girls bank and said she “found” the card. Really?

The girl from the last story:

Fake bleach blonde that has survived cancer and is still surviving living here. She’s pretty nice but a bit too nosy. She’s a singer in a band plus works a full time job but whenever she sees someone she knows, she bogs them down chatting forever!

Crazy dog lady:

When I first started my business, I was willing to pretty much do anything to make money. I would walk this woman’s dog 3 times a day while she was at work. Her dog was very old and had health conditions and finally passed away (when she was at home – not with me). She never paid me for the last month of dog walks. Cut to a year later. She asked me if I would be willing to drive her to appointments and whatever. I told her, “Sure. As soon as you pay me what was owed (a whopping $75), I will be happy to drive you.” Her reply – I really am quoting, “That dog is dead. I’m not paying you for a dead dog!” Umm, wow.

Crazy lady PERIOD:

This woman has issues. I’m not sure exactly what but I do know she drinks a bottle of wine a day or more and has snorted coke right in front of me like it was no big deal. One day a few months ago, she ran out of her condo NAKED screaming that someone was after her and they put bugs in her clothes. Some neighbor wrapped her up and I contacted our management company to call her sister since her sister is actually the owner of the condo. Now she only comes out at night and is always drunk. 3 years ago, she had scabies. She thought getting into our community pool was a good way of getting rid of them. Please note I read they can live on top of water for 3 days in a pool. Well now you know why I’ve been swimming at my moms for years now and NEVER going to the pool here!

South American great grandma:

I had my little dog outside on the lawn to pee before bed (with no leash – OH NO!). She goes to take her trash out and yells at me – if there’s dog poop, I know who did it! Really? With the umpteen dogs we have here just HOW will you know? Some days she very friendly and gives us good Spanish cooking, some days she’s a damn tyrant! I don’t know how to tell her mood so I usually just avoid her if I can.

Pothead:

Gee I wonder why he and I aren’t the best of friends? I don’t give a rats ass if you smoke pot but when it is coming through your closed window and seeping through my living room walls where my kid can smell it, I have an issue. He’s a nice guy, he just doesn’t know how to respect the fact that other people might not want that in their house.

Now for the best:

Grandma:

I really do call her grandma. I’ve known her family for 30 years and even babysat her grandson that I’m friends with now. She’s very upset that I’m moving. I promised I will only be a mile away and I’m still going to be the closest person in case of emergency and I can come right over. Her kids told me that since I’m moving, they are going to have her to Alabama and Arkansas for the next few months so she won’t think about it. 😫

The Indian married to Thai:

Great couple. When they got married, Grandma and I went in together and got them a cutting board carved with their names and the marriage date. They invited me to their second wedding in Tennessee. Their first one was in India and they knew I couldn’t make that one. I will miss them.

Cat lady:

This is a cute bubbly girl that lives across from me with 2 cats. She also found my Mom’s second kitten for her. She and her boyfriend are both very sweet.

Skinny grandma:

Not as close to this one but she is really sweet too. She is not well but still walks 2 neighbors dogs all the time for them. She says it gives her and then some sun and exercise. When I don’t see her for a while, I really worry!

White and Hispanic couple:

These 2 guys are so sweet. They are both teachers, have 2 dogs and a cat, and one is a great artist! I have phone numbers to keep in touch thankfully. I will definitely miss them!

Costa Rican girl and Columbian girl:

2 different neighbors but they are the best of friends and very nice. One always brings me a bottle of wine when she goes home even though I don’t drink wine. The other teaches Spanish to high schoolers and drinks the wine 🍷. 😂

There are more neighbors that I know but they aren’t special enough to make my list of haters or adored neighbors. Let’s hope none of these people ever see this, they would figure out who I’m talking about quick!

15 thoughts on “The soon to be NOT neighbors

  1. Why on earth would you call your dogs all the same name?
    Those are some interesting neighbours you have there. At least there’s some good to balance out the bad. Sounds like you’ve really made an impression on quite a few people 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love how you describe each and every individual.
    It reminds when I lived with a bunch of international people in Denmark. We all knew each other
    Right now I am leaving a very decent, but dull neighborhood where nobody knows each other.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Wow that’s amazing you know so many of your neighbours! I’ve lived in my building for nine years and my nephew thinks I live here alone because we never see anyone. I know the guy across the hall and that’s it.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Wow, I think you have the makings of a new comedy show right there! How many casting directors have scoured the planet to put together a group like that-you may be sitting on a gold mine! I would watch this show!
    Good luck in your new place, you deserve a rest 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lol, this was such a fun post to read, Julie!! You know a lot of your neighbors, I usually only know the ones closest to mine. Haha, I’m glad you’ll be moving away from all the bad ones but it sounds like there a lot you’ll be missing!

    Liked by 1 person

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