My son

I have a 12 year old. He is already 5’8 and weighs around 150 pounds. That’s adult size. Thin adult size. So why does he tell me he wants to lose weight and build muscle this year???

Is it peer pressure at school? Do other kids tell him that he’s fat or out of shape? He walks home daily from school, he can run a mile in gym class and do 50 sit ups with no problem although he cannot do a push-up for the life of him.

It worries me to no end that he thinks he’s fat. You guys have seen a picture of him, what do you think?

Now if someone made fun of his hair – go get a haircut. He says everyone makes fun of his teeth which is why he doesn’t smile in photos with his mouth open and he’s getting braces to fix the open spaces he has which is normal.

I’m at a loss here so I thought I would reach out to you guys. Please let me know your opinion!!!

27 thoughts on “My son

  1. Most youngsters at that age worry about their weight. It mainly has to do with the media propagating fads like six-pack abs and stuff like that. And yes, peer pressure has a lot to do with it. He doesn’t look overweight at all, he looks perfectly normal. 😊

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I agree, he does look normal. He doesn’t watch tv either so I’m just bothered by it. I wouldn’t mind him lifting some weights, I just don’t want him to think he has to look a certain way.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. I agree with Ellen in everything she says. I was borderline anorexic a decade ago due to self esteem issues and know how the mental pressure works. That said, I would never argue against more excercise, in moderation.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. My little sister began getting body self conscious at that age. Suddenly she’s worrying about her figure. And she was taller than most 12 year olds. She’s bigger and taller than me. It’s just a certain observance kids get at that age. Partially from school kids, but there is TV and movies and you hear the opposite sex gawking after a certain ‘look’ and at that age they start comparing themselves. He isn’t overweight at ALL. It’s a self confidence issue all kids have to go through. It’s good that he’s open with you about it. When I was a kid I had similar issues and I didn’t want to tell my parents about it at all. I just tried to change things on my own.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Boys go through it just as much as girls according to my precious therapist. Boys just hide it more. However, it’s a positive sign of your son is more open with you about his insecurities. That means he trusts you. (I think us women always have a harder time understanding boys during all their stages)

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Poor thing. Others are so cruel. But I would want to know does he feel this because of others or because of his own goals?my daughter wanted to run stadiums with us because we were running. Does he want to get involved with exercise because he has a good role model that is taking care of herself? Or really is it just pressure.
    He looks perfect just the way he is

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hmmmm. My daughter never spoke about weight just wanting to run with us. She would comment on wanting to be stronger but that is different than weight.
        I’d delve in and ask questions

        Liked by 1 person

  4. He’s far from fat and looks a good healthy weight! If he wants to build some muscle I think your doing the right thing per your other comment reply and taking him to see a professional. Is it worth telling the person at the gym your concerns first so they’re aware this might be a confidence thing and to take it easy? Moderate exercise is a good habit to get into! I hope it’s just that and not peer pressure or bullies. It’s hard sometimes to just accept being the best versions of ourselves – whatever that might be!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well from having a ton of boys in my life- several of them went through that wanting to start weight lifting stage as a teenager. The weight bag seemed to go up and come down and then up again on a regular basis. It may be more about the weight lifting than the weight loss, but perhaps a walk or car ride so you can have an honest talk about it.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I wouldn’t worry too much. Most of the time it’s just a phase. Just keep an eye on him and just support him and be there for him. It might also be peer pressure from school and what society and the world saying what a man should and shouldn’t be. It’s a beautiful young man. He’s very lucky to have you as a mom. I think your concern for you son is quite normal. A lot of parents feel the same way you do. You’re not alone. He’ll be just fine I’m sure.

    Liked by 1 person

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