I have a 12 year old. He is already 5’8 and weighs around 150 pounds. That’s adult size. Thin adult size. So why does he tell me he wants to lose weight and build muscle this year???
Is it peer pressure at school? Do other kids tell him that he’s fat or out of shape? He walks home daily from school, he can run a mile in gym class and do 50 sit ups with no problem although he cannot do a push-up for the life of him.
It worries me to no end that he thinks he’s fat. You guys have seen a picture of him, what do you think?
Now if someone made fun of his hair – go get a haircut. He says everyone makes fun of his teeth which is why he doesn’t smile in photos with his mouth open and he’s getting braces to fix the open spaces he has which is normal.
I’m at a loss here so I thought I would reach out to you guys. Please let me know your opinion!!!
I started thinking about this About Me part of my blog. I'm going to expand it just a little from the 3 words I had before.
I am a single mom. I love my son. We have been alone since he was 6 months old. He really is my sun, moon, and stars. I am very proud of him.
I am an entrepreneur. I started my driving business 2 years ago. I don't want to work for a "boss" ever again. I always tell people they can do it too. In what I do, there is no competition because there are plenty of people that need rides (and maybe that would help get some of these bad drivers off the roads!). I work hard and have fun on my own time doing what I like to do.
I really am a Netflix addict. When I am not working or doing something with my son, I am watching Netflix. There are so many shows that I've never re-watched anything either. I will watch anything and make my own opinion.
I am opinionated. This blog is really just my opinions and my life. People don't have to agree with me all the time. I welcome discussions and other people's opinion whether they agree or not. I'm not petty, I'm not going to block anyone for not sharing my opinion, why do people freak out these days when someone doesn't share their opinion? Who cares?!? There is a reason we all are different.
There's a lot more about me but you'll have to read the blog to find out!
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27 thoughts on “My son”
Most youngsters at that age worry about their weight. It mainly has to do with the media propagating fads like six-pack abs and stuff like that. And yes, peer pressure has a lot to do with it. He doesn’t look overweight at all, he looks perfectly normal. š
I agree, he does look normal. He doesnāt watch tv either so Iām just bothered by it. I wouldnāt mind him lifting some weights, I just donāt want him to think he has to look a certain way.
I agree with Ellen in everything she says. I was borderline anorexic a decade ago due to self esteem issues and know how the mental pressure works. That said, I would never argue against more excercise, in moderation.
Iām going to take him to the gym with me and let him talk to a person there and go from there. Thank you!!! Nice to get a guys point of view as well š
My little sister began getting body self conscious at that age. Suddenly sheās worrying about her figure. And she was taller than most 12 year olds. Sheās bigger and taller than me. Itās just a certain observance kids get at that age. Partially from school kids, but there is TV and movies and you hear the opposite sex gawking after a certain ālookā and at that age they start comparing themselves. He isnāt overweight at ALL. Itās a self confidence issue all kids have to go through. Itās good that heās open with you about it. When I was a kid I had similar issues and I didnāt want to tell my parents about it at all. I just tried to change things on my own.
Boys go through it just as much as girls according to my precious therapist. Boys just hide it more. However, itās a positive sign of your son is more open with you about his insecurities. That means he trusts you. (I think us women always have a harder time understanding boys during all their stages)
Poor thing. Others are so cruel. But I would want to know does he feel this because of others or because of his own goals?my daughter wanted to run stadiums with us because we were running. Does he want to get involved with exercise because he has a good role model that is taking care of herself? Or really is it just pressure.
He looks perfect just the way he is
Hmmmm. My daughter never spoke about weight just wanting to run with us. She would comment on wanting to be stronger but that is different than weight.
I’d delve in and ask questions
He’s far from fat and looks a good healthy weight! If he wants to build some muscle I think your doing the right thing per your other comment reply and taking him to see a professional. Is it worth telling the person at the gym your concerns first so they’re aware this might be a confidence thing and to take it easy? Moderate exercise is a good habit to get into! I hope it’s just that and not peer pressure or bullies. It’s hard sometimes to just accept being the best versions of ourselves – whatever that might be!
Well from having a ton of boys in my life- several of them went through that wanting to start weight lifting stage as a teenager. The weight bag seemed to go up and come down and then up again on a regular basis. It may be more about the weight lifting than the weight loss, but perhaps a walk or car ride so you can have an honest talk about it.
I wouldn’t worry too much. Most of the time it’s just a phase. Just keep an eye on him and just support him and be there for him. It might also be peer pressure from school and what society and the world saying what a man should and shouldn’t be. It’s a beautiful young man. He’s very lucky to have you as a mom. I think your concern for you son is quite normal. A lot of parents feel the same way you do. You’re not alone. He’ll be just fine I’m sure.
Most youngsters at that age worry about their weight. It mainly has to do with the media propagating fads like six-pack abs and stuff like that. And yes, peer pressure has a lot to do with it. He doesn’t look overweight at all, he looks perfectly normal. š
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I agree, he does look normal. He doesnāt watch tv either so Iām just bothered by it. I wouldnāt mind him lifting some weights, I just donāt want him to think he has to look a certain way.
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I agree with Ellen in everything she says. I was borderline anorexic a decade ago due to self esteem issues and know how the mental pressure works. That said, I would never argue against more excercise, in moderation.
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Iām going to take him to the gym with me and let him talk to a person there and go from there. Thank you!!! Nice to get a guys point of view as well š
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My little sister began getting body self conscious at that age. Suddenly sheās worrying about her figure. And she was taller than most 12 year olds. Sheās bigger and taller than me. Itās just a certain observance kids get at that age. Partially from school kids, but there is TV and movies and you hear the opposite sex gawking after a certain ālookā and at that age they start comparing themselves. He isnāt overweight at ALL. Itās a self confidence issue all kids have to go through. Itās good that heās open with you about it. When I was a kid I had similar issues and I didnāt want to tell my parents about it at all. I just tried to change things on my own.
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In girls I understand more, maybe because I was a little pubescent girl earlier in life. I didnāt think boys went through it so it worries me
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Boys go through it just as much as girls according to my precious therapist. Boys just hide it more. However, itās a positive sign of your son is more open with you about his insecurities. That means he trusts you. (I think us women always have a harder time understanding boys during all their stages)
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Iām very glad he is open with me although there are now some personal things I wish I didnāt know!
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Poor thing. Others are so cruel. But I would want to know does he feel this because of others or because of his own goals?my daughter wanted to run stadiums with us because we were running. Does he want to get involved with exercise because he has a good role model that is taking care of herself? Or really is it just pressure.
He looks perfect just the way he is
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He sees me going to the gym but never wanted to go before. This seems new.
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Hmmmm. My daughter never spoke about weight just wanting to run with us. She would comment on wanting to be stronger but that is different than weight.
I’d delve in and ask questions
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I need to, thank you
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He’s far from fat and looks a good healthy weight! If he wants to build some muscle I think your doing the right thing per your other comment reply and taking him to see a professional. Is it worth telling the person at the gym your concerns first so they’re aware this might be a confidence thing and to take it easy? Moderate exercise is a good habit to get into! I hope it’s just that and not peer pressure or bullies. It’s hard sometimes to just accept being the best versions of ourselves – whatever that might be!
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Thank you. Iām not sure why it came up but trying to figure out the best solution.
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Well from having a ton of boys in my life- several of them went through that wanting to start weight lifting stage as a teenager. The weight bag seemed to go up and come down and then up again on a regular basis. It may be more about the weight lifting than the weight loss, but perhaps a walk or car ride so you can have an honest talk about it.
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I hope so!
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Aww he is perfect sized! I know my brother was worried about his weight when he got around that age too but he was actually pretty overweight.
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Heās got a little tummy pouch but he just needs to start with weights, not lose weight!
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Just out of curiosity, have you asked him why the sudden interest in losing weight/building muscle?
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I did actually and he said ābecause I want toā š
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Darn lol
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Woah. Brilliancy at work.
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I wouldn’t worry too much. Most of the time it’s just a phase. Just keep an eye on him and just support him and be there for him. It might also be peer pressure from school and what society and the world saying what a man should and shouldn’t be. It’s a beautiful young man. He’s very lucky to have you as a mom. I think your concern for you son is quite normal. A lot of parents feel the same way you do. You’re not alone. He’ll be just fine I’m sure.
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I just ran into another mom at the gym and she said her daughter hasnāt said anything like people are calling her fat so itās probably just him.
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Yeah that’s true too. I didn’t think about that. It’s that way sometimes with kids.
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He is tall it seems. He looks healthy to me!
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Heās 5ā8! Heās already an inch taller than me! š
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