Last night I was so down and really still am this morning. My son went to the mall yesterday and had a great afternoon with a couple of girl/friends (he says they are his sisters). I did not want to be at the house the whole time he was there so I drove back to the mall, parked, and read my book while I waited on him. I finished it last night and was just depressed. I was sitting there parked at the mall and all I could think about was I wanted a Twix. I didn’t care about carbs or anything else, I wanted a candy bar and some normal food. I thought about Luby’s cafeteria and how they have fried fish and then about some tacos with crunchy taco shells. Then about a juicy burger with the bun. I wanted carbs! All the carbs! I even told myself that one meal or candy bar won’t hurt me. That’s how bad I wanted these things.
We came back home and I had not gotten anything. I ate some of my homemade keto bbq chicken wings and 2 ounces of mild cheddar cheese. I was stuffed all night until bedtime. I don’t know where those thoughts came from. I am SO glad I didn’t just rush off and buy anything! I’m sure it’s PMS because I know I have cravings at that time of the month but seriously, a Twix? After all these months of not eating sugar? What is going on with me? Am I trying to self sabotage?
This morning I am still feeling depressed. I have one job today and it’s not until 2pm. I guess I could start the 7th book in the Dexter series, Dexter’s Final Cut. I could go for a walk out in the heat. I could do a lot of things but what am I doing? I am still in bed after 2 hours just wallowing. Do y’all have these kind of days?
I posted a bit on Instagram this morning trying to make myself see how far I’ve come and why I don’t eat those things anymore. I am doing whatever I can to remind myself how good I have been doing. Everyone else in the house is still asleep although Amber just woke up and wants me to pet her.
Wow. I just looked at my arm in the photo I just took of Amber and just WOW. Is my arm really that small?
So I will struggle through this day and not get off track (although I am still thinking about that damn fried fish from Luby’s). Y’all have a good day.