Harder than I thought

Life 2 Minutes

I went 36 hours with no cigarette and caved. I smoked half of one and threw it out because I was dizzy and it didn’t taste good. The reason? I had left a pack of cigarettes in my car. My son and I broke up the last pack that I had open at midnight on New Years and flushed them. When I remembered over and over about that last pack in my car, temptation won. I did not pack them like normal. I just opened it up, took one out, and lit it thinking this is what I need, and boy was I wrong.

After 5 puffs, I was dizzy and didn’t want it. I took one more puff and threw it down. I was standing outside in the rain, smoking, and I didn’t even want it! I still had 19 cigarettes (there are 20 in a pack for those who have never smoked). I came upstairs, stood over my commode, broke every single one that was left, and flushed them. Yes, it’s a waste of $6.60 but for my health, it’s a win. I did not smoke at all yesterday although I did think about that pack constantly. I’m glad I flushed them. I am a nonsmoker. I posted to my quit group that I smoked and may get kicked out for it but I am human, I will have problems overcoming this addiction, so I hope they don’t kick me out. At least I am trying!

I have slept a lot in the past couple of days. It’s easier than thinking sometimes. I don’t have a job until Friday and I am not spending so I am not going out. I watched Coffee Shop (very cute) and Bird Box (umm yeah) and some game shows that are on Netflix. I am caffeine free with no issues there.

Image by 123rf.com

I have been watching multiple quit smoking videos. Maybe I am just overthinking like usual and just need to not think about it like the caffeine. I haven’t run downstairs and stolen a Dr. Pepper from my mom for the caffeine, why am I so addicted to the cigarettes? So I am just going to not look at anything and be me. If I have a craving, too bad, I have no more hidden cigarettes and only $2 in cash on me so it’s not like I can go get any.

I am going to make a list of my reasons why I quit to look at when I have cravings. Maybe that’s my next step. I am also trying to remember how I just quit when I moved to Colorado in 1999. I seriously just never looked back. I need to recreate that.

Y’all have a good day. I’m going to go back to Netflix.

Published by juliehcares

I started thinking about this About Me part of my blog. I'm going to expand it just a little from the 3 words I had before. I am a single mom. I love my son. We have been alone since he was 6 months old. He really is my sun, moon, and stars. I am very proud of him. I am an entrepreneur. I started my driving business 2 years ago. I don't want to work for a "boss" ever again. I always tell people they can do it too. In what I do, there is no competition because there are plenty of people that need rides (and maybe that would help get some of these bad drivers off the roads!). I work hard and have fun on my own time doing what I like to do. I really am a Netflix addict. When I am not working or doing something with my son, I am watching Netflix. There are so many shows that I've never re-watched anything either. I will watch anything and make my own opinion. I am opinionated. This blog is really just my opinions and my life. People don't have to agree with me all the time. I welcome discussions and other people's opinion whether they agree or not. I'm not petty, I'm not going to block anyone for not sharing my opinion, why do people freak out these days when someone doesn't share their opinion? Who cares?!? There is a reason we all are different. There's a lot more about me but you'll have to read the blog to find out!

Published

21 thoughts on “Harder than I thought”

  6. I quit smoking 3 months ago and I now vape. It’s still getting nicotine (a little) but not the other crap that is in cigs. I know it’s not as good as quitting completely, but for me, it’s a step in the right direction. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. It’s okay that you had a little slipping. You’re still trying & that would be a darn shame if they kicked you out of the group. So proud of you for kicking the caffeine so quickly & easily. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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