Harder than I thought

I went 36 hours with no cigarette and caved. I smoked half of one and threw it out because I was dizzy and it didn’t taste good. The reason? I had left a pack of cigarettes in my car. My son and I broke up the last pack that I had open at midnight on New Years and flushed them. When I remembered over and over about that last pack in my car, temptation won. I did not pack them like normal. I just opened it up, took one out, and lit it thinking this is what I need, and boy was I wrong.

After 5 puffs, I was dizzy and didn’t want it. I took one more puff and threw it down. I was standing outside in the rain, smoking, and I didn’t even want it! I still had 19 cigarettes (there are 20 in a pack for those who have never smoked). I came upstairs, stood over my commode, broke every single one that was left, and flushed them. Yes, it’s a waste of $6.60 but for my health, it’s a win. I did not smoke at all yesterday although I did think about that pack constantly. I’m glad I flushed them. I am a nonsmoker. I posted to my quit group that I smoked and may get kicked out for it but I am human, I will have problems overcoming this addiction, so I hope they don’t kick me out. At least I am trying!

I have slept a lot in the past couple of days. It’s easier than thinking sometimes. I don’t have a job until Friday and I am not spending so I am not going out. I watched Coffee Shop (very cute) and Bird Box (umm yeah) and some game shows that are on Netflix. I am caffeine free with no issues there.

Image by 123rf.com

I have been watching multiple quit smoking videos. Maybe I am just overthinking like usual and just need to not think about it like the caffeine. I haven’t run downstairs and stolen a Dr. Pepper from my mom for the caffeine, why am I so addicted to the cigarettes? So I am just going to not look at anything and be me. If I have a craving, too bad, I have no more hidden cigarettes and only $2 in cash on me so it’s not like I can go get any.

I am going to make a list of my reasons why I quit to look at when I have cravings. Maybe that’s my next step. I am also trying to remember how I just quit when I moved to Colorado in 1999. I seriously just never looked back. I need to recreate that.

Y’all have a good day. I’m going to go back to Netflix.

As the year ends

So I made my post of 2019 goals as I promised I would. Now to tell you about yesterday and today.

I went grocery shopping for the next week and to get ready to help my mom be keto.

I printed out all the stuff I need for 2019 and Oliver stalked the printer the entire time. I had to sit there with a squirt bottle so he wouldn’t stick his paw in it and jam up the printing.

I bought nail polish to save money and do my own nails instead of getting them done at the salon.

I got sugar free candy and mints to help get me and my mother off sugar (again for me – a first for my mother).

And you already saw my caffeine free soda.

I took Amber to get her treats but they were out so they let her try a different kind of freeze dried treat (beef flavor) and she loved them. Plus they are SO much cheaper than what I’ve been giving her, I may have to switch for good!

Everything is on the closet wall and ready now. I took all of my credit cards out of my wallet and put them away where I can’t use them. As I pay off each one, I will cancel them. That way I won’t have the temptation to use them again. I don’t need credit anyway. I need to only buy what I can afford.

Tonight, I have been invited to a New Years Eve celebration at a retirement home with Miss 96 year old. It starts at 5:30 but she wants me there “a little before 5”. I’m sure she just invited me because she knows that I will wheel her down to the party, stay near her and get whatever she wants, and then wheel her back upstairs when she’s tired but you know what? That party sounds pretty good to me. I don’t usually go out on new year eve because of all the crazy people. Spending time with the elderly and getting home early sounds really nice. So I am going. Maybe I will remember to take pictures!

She asked me to bring a bill from the other day with me but I don’t want to charge her. How should I tell her?

Have a great evening and if it’s already 2019 where you are, HAPOY NEW YEARS!

Happy 2019!!!

Image by fotolia off google

What are you going to do this year? The same old thing? Better yourself? Find new work? Any new goal is better than staying the same, right?

I don’t do resolutions. I make goals. 2018 was my year to lose weight and start exercising more and I accomplished my goals better than I ever thought I could! 2019 will be even better!

Let’s talk about 2018 for a minute. Here is where I started.

Here are all of the stats from this past year.

I did my final weigh in and measurements today. I cannot believe how far I went this last year! I am amazed at how I stuck to my guns too. I started with low fat last January. Because of my podiatrist, I went keto in April. I continued keto through October when I hit my goal weight of 150. Since then, I have still tracked my calories but slowed down losing because I am not trying to lose any more weight. I am so happy at 150!

As you can see, I am happy today! Happy that in 2019, I am starting my next goals and I will do great at these too.

1. Be a non smoker

As of tomorrow, I am a non smoker. Not “I will quit smoking this year.” I am a non smoker. I am ready. When I met with my son’s psychologist, he told me that it will be okay. I only smoke about half a pack of cigarettes each day so it’s not like it is for heavy smokers and I can do this. He advised me to get some coffee stirrers to chew on so I’m not munching on food all the time. That’s what I was truly worried about – I refuse to gain weight again! So I got the stirrers and I am ready to go. I also printed out this sheet and stuck it on my closet door so I will see it every day. I will check it off daily that I did not smoke.

2. Quit caffeine

Oh this is a toughie! I am quitting caffeine but I am ready to do it. I got too hooked on Bang and Zevia this past year and I want to be free of chemicals in my body. Therefore, the first step is getting myself off caffeine. I will still have soda at first, just caffeine free. I am so used to having caffeine when I wake up and before bed so I got some Caffeine free Diet Pepsi to hopefully make myself think I am still doing the normal thing each day.

3. Pay off credit card debt.

This will be more tough since I was using my cards for everything other than bills this past year. I’m in a HUGE financial hole but I am going to get myself out. I am not going to ruin my credit by going through a consolidation place or claiming bankruptcy. I am going to use Dave Ramsey’s snowball idea. I am using this to help me. I have put this on my closet door as well.

4. Budget and spend less

This kind of goes with number 3. I put a list on my closet and will put up a new one each week. I have it also for my son to see what he’s spending money on. My son loves Starbucks and I am hoping that if he sees exactly what he’s spending there, it will help to stop him from asking if he can go (sometimes 3 times a week!).

I also put a calendar up there so he can see who I’m with each day or if either one of us has an appointment.

I also put a yearly calendar up there to keep track of my weight to make sure I am not gaining as I don’t smoke anymore (as of tomorrow the 1st).

What do y’all think? I am letting you guys know my goals for this year to help keep me accountable. I think that will over 1000 people checking on me, I am more likely to get my crap done!

If I can stick to keto and lose 70 pounds in a year, I can quit smoking and drinking caffeine. Plus that will save me money already! I was spending $110 each month on cigarettes and $150 a month on Bang and Zevia. That’s a savings of $260 in the first month! I got this!

You can do whatever you set your mind to. You just have to remind yourself the what, the why, and the how. You may have to do it more than once a day but you can do this just like I can!

2 more days to 2019

Oh man..I didn’t do much yesterday because of this stupid back of the knee pain. I’m getting better by resting though. I want to walk to get groceries today but I’ll see how I am when I get out of bed today.

What I did do yesterday was write down all of my finances and print out some budgeting papers. I’m trying to let my child see why he doesn’t need to spend so much money. Let’s hope it works!

I also joined LinkedIn and built my resume. I either hope to get new clients or get a job in my nutrition field as I go through school. I love running my business but I am not making any money doing it.

I applied for upteen scholarships online as I got an email from my school saying that I have almost reached the limit of what I can get in loans for an undergrad degree. Huh? Really? Whatever. I don’t understand why I didn’t get grants but maybe I will for the 2019-2020 school year. I applied late for this school year.

I am also going to really start trying to help more people on social media. I get so many dm’s from men saying “Hello Beautiful” or other stuff which scares me a bit. I just delete them. You never know who some people really are online!

Social media:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/julie.b.hart.9

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliehcares/tagged/

Twitter: @crazedmama31

WeChat: juliehcares

WhatsApp: Julieh Cares

Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/add/juliehcares

Hello! 👋

The past 2 days have been a bit busy.


Still a bit dizzy but not enough to keep me from working. I took Cranky to her doctor and the doctor said she was doing much better and doesn’t need oxygen anymore. Yay for that! Then we drove through the pharmacy for her prescriptions, went by her favorite burger place, and then went to the grocery store. Her caregiver went in while Cranky and I stayed in the car. I kept asking her to drink some water and finally got a glare about after the 3rd time I asked her. I got them home and drove myself home.

I left the house again at 5pm to pick up Ms. 96 year old. She is such a sweet lady and is still doing really well at her age although she cannot walk anymore at all. When I first met her, she walked around while her caregiver followed with a wheelchair. Now poor thing is always having to be in one. She had asked me to take and accompany her to a party for her great niece and nephew who are both getting married so it was a double party. She asked me to pick her up at 5:30pm. I didn’t realize the party started at 7pm and was only 3 miles away. I sat with her for over an hour just chatting before we left. She was a town belle in her youth and was in her local paper (she showed me the articles). She wants me to come to her retirement home and have dinner with her and go to some talk they are having there. So finally I drive to the party. We pull up right behind the couple’s son (the ones I used to drive that the husband passed away in April). So I open my door and say “Hi!” Good thing I did, he got the valet guys to let me park up by the house doors instead of trying to wheel my friend in the dark from the street. Yes, this party had valet!

I walk in and the place was packed. With everyone I know in that family. The couple has 5 kids and each kid has at least 3 kids. Plus the people giving the party (like 7 families) so there were tons of people. There was a mariachi band and Mexican food catered with a taco truck. There was an entire room filled with tapas and desserts too. They had servers and since I was sitting with the 2 elderly people, I got served with them. I tried a bite of each tapa and a bite of each cookie as well as had some rice and beans from the taco truck and I can’t forget the cute margarita with the names of both bride and grooms. I wish I could remember the name of the caterers, that food was AWESOME!!!

First photo shows the wife of the couple at the bottom. The funny thing at this party was everyone that saw me asked who I was. When I would start talking, they said “Julie? OMG you look great!” Yep, my voice gave me away. It was funny that they didn’t recognize me at first though! Ms. 96 year old wanted to go home once it was so full in there you couldn’t hear a word so we left at 8:20pm and she was home by 8:30 and I was home by 9.

I’m glad because I had to get up early today to take Styled to get her hair dyed and cut. Problem last night is that I couldn’t sleep so of course I overslept this morning but I still made it on time to pick her up. No exercise yesterday as I am still recovering from whatever made me crazy dizzy.

Friday (today):

Still a tiny bit dizzy and now have some weird pain on the side of my knee like I pulled a muscle. I picked up Styled at 8:15am and took her to her hair woman. I got her credit card once she was safely in the chair and went to the grocery store for her and bought some stuff on sale (Christmas candy) for myself (at least I thought). I went back and waited for her to be done and we discussed current affairs going on. She mentioned something about Harry’s wife being pregnant and fighting with William’s wife? I don’t watch the news and mostly hear about things from you guys so I had no idea what she was talking about. Maybe y’all can fill me in?

I got her home and started driving home. On my way, there are many “homeless” people on street corners. I decided that I didn’t need all this Russell Stover’s chocolate marshmallow candies so if I had a red light, I gave one to the person on the corner. This one man asked me if I was sure because Russell Stover is expensive and I told him about the sale and his face lit up. $.30 each??? I could get a box full right now! Hopefully I made his day. The guy on my street corner that I have given many a sweet treat to looks at it and asked if I ever carry cash on me. NOPE I said as I drove off.

Got home and took my son to his psychologist. I met with him first because I wanted him to know how good my son has been lately. Well, that’s not the only reason. I wanted to discuss my 2019 goals with someone and he’s not one of those therapists that asks you silly questions, he actually gives good advice and helps you. So I have a plan in place and I will be having my own meeting with him in 2 weeks to see how it goes. I’ll tell y’all more about my goals on New Year’s Eve. Jack, you already know one and BFF, you obviously already know!

We then came home and I played on my phone for a while, chatted with my mom and BFF, and then made fried fish for dinner. My mom has agreed to go keto for 2019! I am so excited for her. So now I will have to be keto as well to keep her on track (she does NOT like not eating carbs and I had to explain exactly what a carb is to her). Since she’s diabetic, this will be great for her too. Her doctor told her about keto way after I had been doing it and now she’s dating so she wants to lose some weight. I’m happy about this. So I will help. I love keto so it won’t be hard for me.

I believe I have bored you enough for one day. Have a great weekend and remember, 2019 is literally 3 days away!!!

And a joke to leave you on:

December Loot Crate arrived!

It is such a big box! I can’t wait!

It must have a ton of stuff in there although it is very light. Let’s open it!

Wow, that’s it? Really? Such a big box and it’s not full? I think I prefer the smaller boxes that are stuffed. But look, how cool! You can build Bumblebee!

When did Bumblebee become a yellow Herbie? A Volkswagon Beetle? Huh??? Okay then. 😳

Another Dungeons and Dragons t-shirt. Definitely different from the last one from 2016. I loved that shirt. It was a XXL though so it got donated when I lost the weight. Here’s a Google stock photo of the first shirt they came out with and then here’s the new one. I played D&D as a teen and I guess it’s still a thing?

Another Fallout toy. I don’t know anything about Fallout but a ton of people must like it for it to have been in at least 3 crates this year!

Okay, this is cool! Pins from the new Transformers movie!!! I like these! I am putting them with my loot pin collection.

Hmm, this must be a movie photo or something (it has a cardboard back) but I have no interest in it. I don’t even think I saw this movie. there was a card saying they did not have the eyepatch and that it will be shipped in next months Loot Crate. I don’t really need an eyepatch but hopefully it has a design or something cool on it.

And of course the loot pin. Now this is cool! I love the original AND the new Lost In Space!

To me, a disappointing box for December. Since I just renewed my subscription for the next year, I hope the 2019 boxes will be better! If not, I will not continue it after this year. And that would be sad. My son didn’t even want any of this stuff which is not normal so it’s obvious that this box was not as good as past ones.